Tuesday, 22 April 2008

Legs Eleven

Dated April 2001, issue 11 surfaced in the April of 2002, a mere month after I'd returned to NZ from my two year OE in the UK. I have a vivid memory of using my sister's account at the University of Canterbury to get the master copy printed out as for some reason I was unable to do so at home. Much of the material in the issue was quite old, such as my Terror Of The Zygons video review which I'd written before my departure to the UK two years earlier! It was an exercise in getting the issue printed rather than worrying about anything else. Looking at the content now I can tell that at least a third of the issue was done before my May 2000 departure. I think that at the time it was finally printed both Matt and I were glad to see the back of the issue, more so for Matt as it meant that he could officially give up his post as Co-Editor (unofficially having given up a good year or two earlier) and not have to worry about putting together an issue in the future — issue 11 must have hung over him like the sword of Damocles! As a result of those two years of chaos and uncertainty, Matt paid for the issue out of his own pocket allowing subscribers to get that issue for free.

And the eyebrow raising editorial (dating from around April 2001), Matt's last one for the fanzine?:
It's official, Matt Kamstra is the laziest bastard in New Zealand Doctor Who Fandom!

In really old, not so ground-breaking news, Matt Kamstra has been named 'Laziest Dutch Prick in Fandom' in a recent DWB-S poll amongst spaced out garden gnomes (too many shrooms CAN be a bad thing). Not having compiled an issue since Alexander 'most of us just call him Joe' Ballingall left for foreign shores, most of us now believe that RTP! is dead, to be no more, just another failed New Zealand Doctor Who fanzine. But alas! Joe has succeeded in giving Matt an electronic kick up the arse and once again jump-starting the subversive Doctor Who subculture known as Reverse the Polarity! and it's adopted step-sister newsletter Neutron Flow (formerly known as Critical Mass).

Why this magnificent and award-winning magazine suddenly disappeared a little over one year ago is still somewhat of a mystery to contemporary history scholars and even Matt Kamstra himself. However, its sudden re-emergence has come as a shock to many, even causing the death of an elderly man in Waiwhakamukau. In an unofficial release to the DWB-S press on Friday night Mr. Kamstra had this to say about the matter: "impissedsofuckoffnleavemealoneyacommiebastard". Moreover, his publicist had this translation to offer: "Due to a heavy professional schedule and intense media pressure, my work has been seriously impaired. I do not wish to speak any further on the matter. Now f**k off."

Most importantly however, this reporter has discovered that RTP! is here to stay, and will in fact soon be published in Ware, Hertfordshire, England, and then in Kyoto, Japan, when Alexander 'Is my name actually Joe or Alex' Ballingall and Matt 'I'm surprised I can find anything in this joint' Kamstra move to the Orient to pursue careers in Asian boy bands! Sensational but true! More details are coming to light as we go to press, but by next issue we should have some early photographs and possibly a working title for the project. All this and a four page lift-out poster section!

In similarly ridiculous breaking news, Reverse the Polarity!'s website is soon to be upgraded after a two year hiatus. Tentatively renamed 'Saucer Smith's Psychedelic Magical Mystery Bus Trip' the site will feature a web-shop for subversive instruments and home made whiskey, reviews and articles from all three 'Saucer Smith' publications, and an extensive collection of amateur and professional porn courtesy of Paul 'sifty f**k' Maloney and his lovely ladies.

- Matt Kamstra
The Guff Revolutions:

Published: April 2002
Editor: Matt Kamstra, Alexander Ballingall
RTP! Logo Design: Peter & Bridget Adamson
Front Cover: Peter Adamson
Back Cover: Garry Jackson
Internal Artwork: Peter Adamson, Garry Jackson, Matt Kamstra
Letters: Peter Adamson, Jeff Stone
Page Count: 52
Print Run: 30
Price: NZ$3

~ Contents ~
  • [01] COVER
  • [02] CONTENTS
  • [03] EDITORIAL
  • [04] UPDATE
  • [05] The BOOTCUPBOARD [Letters]
  • [06] K'umface' / The Twelve Pages of Karkus
  • [07] Doctor Who Bullsh*t: Prime Re-Run Surprise Shocker!
  • [09] REVIEWS: The Scope [Reviews of PDAs]
  • [10] REVIEWS [Attack of the Cybermen]
  • [12] OPINION: Doctor Who Goes Digital
  • [13] An Alt. Future for RTP!
  • [16] CARTOON: Saucer + Birdy—Meet the DJ from Hell!
  • [18] INTERVIEW: Confessions of a Melophile [Alden Bates]
  • [22] The Cabbage Criterion
  • [25] OPINION: Your Two Cents Worth ...
  • [26] The Sexual Misadventures of Doctor Who - The middle Davison TARDIS crew
  • [27] COMIC: Pulp Who—The Gold Star [part 4 of 4]
  • [37] REVIEWS: Armageddon '02 conventions in Auckland & Wellington
  • [38] Doctor Who Bullsh*t: JFK Plot Update ... Again!
  • [40] REVIEW [Terror of the Zygons]
  • [42] FICTION: Alternate Realities [part 1 of ?]
  • [44] FICTION: The Red Menace [part 6 of 8]
  • [48] ARTICLE: The NZ Connection
  • [49] CARTOON
  • [50] OPINION: Thoughts from the Kitchen
  • [52] COVER

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